People Pleasing- Fawn Response

The people pleasing part of us tends to be highly attuned to others’ emotions, needs, and experiences. While this can be a gift and strength in many ways, it can also bring up challenges with prioritizing our own needs and leave us feeling a sense of self-abandonment, depletion, and anxiety. You might feel the need to impulsively say yes, when you truly don’t have the time, capacity, or desire. There may be a deep fear of offending someone or being judged, criticized, or rejected. You might be afraid of conflict and assume it needs to be avoided at all costs, yet in avoiding conflict, we create feelings of resentment, not feeling seen, and anxiety. Through healing our people-pleasing tendencies we can reconnect with our inner wisdom, realign with our true values, set healthy boundaries, and live a more authentic life.

Here are a few tips to heal that people-pleasing part:

• Setting healthy boundaries

  • Take some time to reflect on your individual limits that make you feel safe, secure, and supported in various areas of your life.

  • Try: Take inventory of your boundaries in one of these areas: how you spend your time, your relationships (friends, family, or intimate), or your physical boundaries. Would you consider your boundaries to be porous, rigid, or healthy in different areas of your life?

• Mindfulness

  • Practice cultivating mindfulness to build self-awareness and compassion around your patterns, emotions, needs, and boundaries.

  • Try: Listen to a guided self-compassion meditation

    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhZfCbWv1QA

Books to explore:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, Nedra Glover Tawwab
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Kristin Neff